Isn’t life completely amazing? I look back over the last 12 years at some of the lessons that have had such a powerful impact on the way I now embrace life. I know without doubt that I, like you, am an incredible human being, connected to everyone and everything around me, with the power to create my life.
Fear is disabling, and if it’s present in your thoughts and energy, then it doesn’t matter what you want to create, whether it’s a loving relationship, a new job or a successful business, fearful beliefs will tend to expand in your life.
People can often see and feel the fear in others, and although they can’t always pinpoint exactly why, somehow it comes through on a subconscious level. Over the last decade I realised that I had to step through the fears holding me back, so I did, and changed every aspect of my life beyond recognition – one step at a time.
The only thing that feels fearful to me these days is the thought of lying on my deathbed many years from now, looking back with regret at a million “what if’s”, wishing I’d had the courage to play full out. That thought is far more frightening than taking any risk…
There is no failure or rejection in life, absolutely not – these are ego driven and created within our own mind. I gave up worrying about what others thought about me years ago (such a burden lifted!), because I realised that a person can only judge another with what’s inside them. I really, truly, began to understand the meaning behind the saying ‘What others think of you is none of your business’. So I began living it! Therein disappeared any concept of failure. In fact, making mistakes is an essential part of growing and learning, and the only people who fail are those who refuse to step out of their comfort zone for fear of what others may think. One piece of advice is this – when you do step out of your comfort zone, you will be judged. But it will only be by those who are remaining firmly in their comfort zone. You see, your willingness to step through your fears will make others uncomfortable, because it’s a reminder to them that they are not.
Fact – for as long as you choose to live your life through someone else’s perception, you will remain in fear. Happiness comes with freeing yourself…
I learned, with astonishing impact, how much my beliefs formed my experience of life. When I told myself I could achieve something, then miraculously, I could. So I changed my limiting beliefs and embraced every challenge. I now live my life without self-imposed limitations. I realised that blaming others was giving away my power, because it’s pretty much pretending that I don’t play any part in how my life unfolds. I do, so I chose to take full responsibility for my own emotions and outcomes, regardless of what was happening around me. No more blaming…
I discovered that my experience of any relationship, intimate and otherwise, was a direct reflection of my relationship with myself. Trying to be what I felt others expected of me was in fact simply a form of imitation love, which could only leave me in a place of fear… because what if that imitation love wasn’t returned? So I learned to be true to myself, so I could also be true in all my relationships.
Looking back over my past and finding the lessons and gifts in every experience was the most empowering gift. It taught me how to forgive. I learned to thank those who had caused me pain; they had become my greatest teachers by giving me the most incredible opportunities to master my emotions. Without them, I wouldn’t be teaching today and living my purpose. Isn’t it funny though when you think about it, how we actually expect everyone to be lovely to us all the time, and to get through life without any hurt, pain or challenges… yet at the same time, we all know that life simply isn’t like that. For some reason, that doesn’t stop us feeling like a victim the moment something negative happens. Not a chance… not any longer! I embrace everything – good times and not so good, happy people and not so happy people. I have no fear of either. It’s not my job to control the whole world. It’s only my job to control my inner state.
I learned just how vital it is to love myself unconditionally. The moment I began to love myself, the more love and compassion I had to give and share with others. I was also able to receive more love. But then it’s not surprising really, because no one can love you more than you love yourself. You teach others how to love and treat you by how you love and respect yourself. Yet most of us think that we’re being kind by putting ourselves last. We’re not. We’re teaching others to put us last too.
I have learned that happiness truly is inside of me… it is not created by anything on the outside. By walking away from a majority of the material possessions I owned back in 2007, I realised first hand that everything can be taken away except what is on the inside. Within this experience was the most beautiful lesson in acceptance. Now, I feel no fear in my ability to stand strong and alone in this world, knowing without doubt that I can, and will, handle anything… and it was in truly knowing that I am capable of standing alone, that I found the most beautiful relationship and realised that I was the furthest from being alone that I could ever be.
I learned how to go from being in a loving relationship with myself, into being in a loving relationship with another. It was through our challenges that the most beautiful and powerful lessons were learned. These ultimately strengthened us beyond words. Andy and I discovered what it takes to create a deeply loving relationship, which I now know without doubt is something we can all experience if we are willing to step up. Love is not something that just happens to us. It’s something we do, something we become, something we are… which we then share with another.
Essentially, I realised with absolutely certainty that I create my life – it doesn’t just happen to me. I am not the victim of life. I am the creator of it. Any events which are outwith my control, well, I can choose how to respond to those – with love or with fear. I choose love now, because I see what happens when I choose to respond with fear instead.
My truth is this: – I can choose to step out of my comfort zone as often as I wish, I can choose to step through fear, I can choose to have empowering beliefs, I can choose how to respond to any situation, I can choose to take responsibility for my life and emotions, I can choose to be in great energy…… I can choose to create the life of my dreams… or… I can choose to allow others to disempower me, and blame others for making my life unhappy.
The thing is, if I can’t choose these for myself, then who can?
And if I can’t choose happiness, then surely I can’t choose unhappiness either, right?
I choose happiness…