I was having a great conversation with my beautiful Soul-Sister a while ago when she came to visit. One of the topics we got into chatting about was something that is widely sold and accepted nowadays… that financial wealth is a measure of self-worth.

As far as the law of attraction is concerned, this statement simply doesn’t resonate with me any longer.

I had such a valuable lesson in this a few years ago. I met a lady who sells herself as the epitome of spirituality. Apart from teaching others all about what it means to be spiritual, she is also a law of attraction teacher and claims to be an expert in it.The three times I came into contact with her, she took from me in various and exceedingly clever ways, which were at the same time subtly quite aggressive. She wore a big smile and used spiritual terminology in much of her communication. She treated me as if she thought I couldn’t, and indeed wouldn’t, see what she was doing. But I could see, and very clearly. I was quite fascinated with our whole interaction. She was teaching me who she was, and it was up to me to listen, so after offering her three opportunities to be kind rather than using me to her own ends, I cut all ties with her.

What I saw in her behaviour was this: she wasn’t ‘manifesting’ abundance… she was manipulating abundance… nothing more, nothing less. And the results of her doing so meant that she managed to manipulate enough from others to claim that she lived a deeply spiritual life filled with manifested abundance, which on the surface certainly appeared to be the case. And of course she also taught others how to manifest and achieve success and abundance too. At every opportunity socially she would tell the world ‘Look how good I am at manifesting!’

We are taught that ‘manifesting’ is the law of attraction in action… whatever you are thinking beneath the surface is what you are ‘manifesting’. We are taught strategies on how to manifest abundance into our lives… yet are we really manifesting abundance if we have ripped others off in order to achieve it? Because in reality, the only thing I could see this lady manifesting was bad karma. Some day it’s likely she’s going to have to account for all she’s taken from others. But because she had the ability to make others believe her, no one saw the manipulation. All they saw was her success…

Her Enneagram type was evident, and she was playing out her ego’s role with great success. I feel blessed that I could see it, understand it, and therefore not become a victim to it, however the clients handing over money to her were not quite so fortunate.

At the other end of the scale, Andy and I also had the good fortune to work with another lady who also taught about wealth, abundance and success, yet did so in an entirely different energy. In every interaction with her, her authenticity flowed through. She didn’t take from others in order to achieve her wealth. Instead she gave, not only information, but she gave of herself and did so in a loving and genuine space. Energy was allowed to flow. Abundance came back to her tenfold. This is the true art of manifesting…

She is the same Enneagram type as the lady mentioned above, yet instead of playing out the fear-based side of her Enneatype, she is in fact living in the gift and potential of her Enneatype, and teaching others how to create authentic success in their lives too.

Two women, both teaching the same thing, yet only one is manifesting abundance, the other is manipulating it.

When we are in a truly loving place within ourselves, our desire to manipulate falls away, and we step into our talents and authentic potential instead. The results of both may look the same on the surface, but they are underpinned by entirely different motivations. When we are in a loving energy, we cannot be in a fearful energy at the same time. Manipulation stems from fear, because it is a game played by the ego in order to meet the needs of the ego. When one is playing out these games, self-worth is not present, because the games would simply not be necessary if it were.

So how does one tell the difference? Who is authentic and who isn’t? Well, it would be difficult to explain here in one blog post without writing an entire book, but it’s actually quite easy to see it when the different motivations behind manipulation can be recognised and understood. An individual’s authenticity either shines out, or their manipulation does instead, and everyone in the human race is capable of both. When we can see it for what it is, we no longer fall victim to it.