We were chilling in bed the other morning and I was chatting to Andy. I stopped talking and rested for a while. He raised himself on one elbow and leaned over me. With so much love and a smile in his eyes, he kissed me and said “Thank you”.
I asked “What for?”
He said “For giving me two minutes of silence”.
Secondly, that I am so comfortable with hearing it.
The meaning of trust has changed so much for me over the last few years. It used to mean that I trusted he would always be faithful to me and that he would always ‘have my back’. But if you really look at that statement, it’s all about ‘me, me, me’.
In reality trust can so easily become about someone else always having to feed our ego, usually at the expense of sharing their truth.
But how can we truly trust someone who we have taught has to lie to us in order to keep our ego happy?
The trust I have for him now means that I trust him to always share his truth with me, no matter what that truth is. The trust I have in myself means that I’ve learned I can handle any truth. By both doing so, we’ve taught one another that our relationship holds a sacred space for truth.
If he were to fall in love with another, would I be hurt – yes, devastated – but I would trust myself to get through it in time. Would I want him to remain with me – no. I love him enough to want him to be happy, to live his truth, even if it’s not with me.
Would I love him any less – no. Would I trust him any less – no. Because he would have shared his truth with me.
Do I want him to always ‘have my back’. No, because that implies I am always right. I am not always right. I trust him to hold a light up to me at these times, because he trusts that I can handle it. I do the same with him, and we have both learned to do this with so much love that we always end up smiling.
My, how things have changed over the years we’ve been together. How much we’ve learned simply by learning how to overcome our early challenges. Those challenges were priceless – such a gift. It’s freeing for both of us.
Being in love is a really beautiful and peaceful place to be.