I love giving to others. I also love giving to myself, because if I have nothing, then I have nothing to give.
The people I tend to avoid, are those who feel that I’m not supposed to have any boundaries. In my experience, it tends to unfold in one way or another as ‘How much can I take from you?’
I sense how authentic someone’s relationship is to me by their response to my putting boundaries down in a friendly and honest way, and one which allows me to share my truth.
I don’t put boundaries down angrily, as that is more a reflection of me than anything they are attempting to do.
Sharing truthfully is a very honest way of being. It will bring about authentic relationships with friends, lovers, colleagues, family, or it will pinpoint the relationships to avoid. Sometimes others react negatively towards it, because their ego feels nipped by your truth, and also because we are so used to not sharing our truth. Instead, we say yes when we mean no, then we don’t say a word about it, whilst silently seething and resenting. That is in no way an honest relationship. Nor is it a relationship where both parties feel able to share any healthy boundaries.
I know when I’ve felt angry in the past about someone overstepping mine, it was actually myself I was angry with, not them, because I wasn’t sharing my truth. I expected them to somehow magically know mine. The fact is that if boundaries are not shared, they are not known. Period.
People will always teach you who they are. Your job is simply to listen, then teach them who you are, then choose what it is you want for your life. If they teach you that your truth can’t be shared, then there is no relationship. A relationship, in whatever form, is meant to be based upon the ability to relate.